Fuckin' A

My swearing in front of your fucking children

Fuck you and fuck your kids, fuck Bush and fuck Obama too.

This list?

The Pope
LDS President
Bruce Willis
Gay people
Homophobic people
White people
Black people
Purple People
The Detroit Lions
The L.A. Lakers
PS3 lovers
PS3 haters

Fuck em'
Every last one.

It is just a word, and words don't hurt people actions do. If your parenting is so shitty that your son or daughter self destructs upon the resuscitation of my complete vocabulary then you need to take a class or something.

This is the exact same thing as Mormon's who bitched about how when we got the wine list put on the menus in eating establishments in Utah, and how their faithful would fall into alcoholism in droves now that they saw that Wingers offers beer to drink as well as lemonade...excuse me, fucking lemonade, then I guess they weren't that faithful to being with, huh?

This is life, people drink and people swear, you can hide from it if you want to, but I'm not going to change my language because you'd rather that happen then explain to your children that you don't speak that way and don't want them to for whatever reason.

Fuck all y'all.

Children

I am a 27 year old adult male who has been married for 5 years. Prior to my marriage to my wife we decided we did not want children, since then this has not changed and if anything our resolve about this has grown stronger. Let me be clear about this, I don't care if you have children, want children, love children, or live and die by your children, that is your prerogative. What I do care about is how your interaction and parenting with your children affects me and my decision not to have children. Your child is not my problem and therefore should not be an inconvenience to me, I did not fuck your wife or get fucked and I certainly wasn't involved with the parenting of the child, so I shouldn't have to hear from it.

If you're in a restaurant that has an entree on the menu for more than $15, I do not want to hear your child scream, cry, whine, bitch, moan, or really any audible sound from them. If you can't afford a babysitter, you shouldn't be going out. If you want to go out, that's what Chuck E Cheese is for, if you don't want Chuck E Cheese, see my previous comment. There are restaurants for adults and there are restaurants for children, please learn how to distinguish between the two of them.

If you're going to a movie that is not rated G and your child is under the age of 6 and cannot sit in a seat or be quiet, you should be shot on site, possibly beaten first, but definitely shot. The punishment should become progressively worst and more painful as the MPAA rating goes up as well as the time of the day that I"m seeing a movie goes on. I do not pay $6-$10 for a movie ticket to watch your child run around a movie theater screaming while you pretend like ignoring them is good parenting.

I don't know how we got to the day and age where people do not watch, punish or pay attention to their children. Personally, if it were my child I would be embarrassed by 90% of what I see on a daily basis and wouldn't be able to look at myself in a mirror. I do not blame the children, they are merely byproducts of bad parenting, but that doesn't mean that I want to deal with them. Just because you think your children are god's precious gifts does not mean the rest of the world sees them that way. Most of the parents who do perceive their children as such are typically bound to fuck the child up.

Deregulation

Following the pattern of why I hate Republicans from my previous post, I think it's time to point out yet another hypocrisy. Now that Obama's been in office for a few months and hasn't done anything too reprehensible, beyond of course giving the Queen of England an Ipod. The Republicans have had to find a new way to slam him while trying to do it in a "subtle" manner. The new buzz word seems to be deregulation, not that this concept is new in any way, but it's an easy way to say "we don't want Obama fixing shit, so we'll talk about less government intervention." Keep in mind these are the people who passed the Patriot Act which was essentially government intervention in every fucking way humanly possible, but it was only on citizens, not businesses so it's okay.

So let's talk about less government intervention and a free market economy, both of which I'm not necessarily against, as long as people aren't greedy motherfuckers. So we've let banks, airlines, and automakers run without any strict government control for quite some time now and we have 3 industries that if it weren't for government bailouts, may no longer exist at this point. I've already bitched and moaned about banking and the automakers so I'll simply focus on the airlines and why they're a joke.

The airlines tend to believe that they can use 9/11 for an excuse even though the major ones were running at losses previously to 9/11. There's no such thing as customer service from them, this includes but is not limited to the fact that just because you buy a plane ticket, doesn't mean the plane will show up or that the seat you reserved is actually there. Price discrepancies for the same flight from different airlines can vary up to $1000 based on no particular reason whatsoever. If two people are flying to California, one from Utah and one from Idaho, it's typically cheaper for the person in Utah to fly to Idaho first then to take the same flight that the Idaho person is to California rather than flying directly (I've seen this occur on multiple occasions).

So we have multiple industries that can't manage themselves and yet the Republicans are up in arms about the idea of the government, or in this case Obama, assigning task forces or people to clean this mess up. I recently read a quote from the "legendary" and I use this term loosely, musician Ted Nugent about how if the government would just keep their hands out of it, the automakers would rally back stronger than ever. This comment isn't just stupid, it's absolutely insane and the only reason American automakers are still around is because some people insist on buying American despite the many gaping flaws. At some point if we are to keep these industries as well as give these industries billions of dollars, we need to manage what they're doing and point out the greed and inefficiency of their corporation.

Twittering Duke Nukem

Remisce says:
Dude... there's a rumor on Gamespy that Duke Nukem Forever is going to beta and will be at E3 this year
Absinthe says:
With 12 years behind us, how many times do you think that rumor has been passed around?
Remisce says:
Probably a billion, but this was coming from the twitter feed of the lead designer
Absinthe says:
Well, surely we can trust twitter
Remisce says:
What I truly think will happen is that they won't release any screenshots or video, they'll release the game
Remisce says:
When you open the box it'll be a giant black cock and it'll start hitting you
Remisce says:
As far as twitter goes, as long as you know the author, twitters is fine, I read Kevin Smith's twitter, he releases shit about his upcoming movies and what he's working on
Remisce says:
I'm not going to go "even though Kevin Smith is writing this, but it's twitter, it must not be real" and run away screaming
Remisce says:
Though I do often run away screaming just for the fun of it
Absinthe says:
I know using twitter is like putting your hand on the bible and swearing to tell the truth
Remisce says:
Hey if it doesn't work in court....
Absinthe says:
They should make you put your hand on twitter and swear to tell the truth
Remisce says:
On a cum covered keyboard, that’s “on twitter”
Absinthe says:
If you’re willing to touch the keyboard during the oath, that's how they know you are serious about telling the truth

Old fashioned family values

For the last decade or so we've been sold on the ideal of "old fashioned family values" by the Republican Party. It kept one president in office for 8 years and was essentially McCain's running point. They didn't want to address the real issues of the world like health care, the failing global economy, or the war and they proved that by choosing Palin as a running mate for him.

The concept as a whole is that at some point in the past, people got married for love and stayed married for 50+ years, they had their 2.5 kids and their home with their white picket fence. No one ever drank, did drugs, had sex outside of marriage, homosexuals did not exist and no one would ever consider abortion. The world was safe, everyone was happy and nothing bad ever happened. This world was a fantastic world and rather than being called "old fashioned family values" it should have been called fantasy land.

This world never existed, not 2000 years ago and certainly not 200 years ago, yet we are constantly sold on this concept. The main difference between today and when people believed this time existed is that there are so many types of media available and the population density is so much greater that we are more aware of what's going on and it occurs more frequently. Marriage is an institution that religions brought about, therefore the concept of marriage as well as sex outside of marriage is something we created. The concept of being able to fuck outside ones marriage was created when divorce came about, another concept of religion. Some form of alcohol/drugs have been around for millenia and we all know that homosexuality, even by biblical standards has been around since the dawn of time.

So what surprises me, is why are people stupid enough to believe that a president is going to somehow change the world we live in today, to this concept, this ideal that never existed to begin with. We've proven that prohibition doesn't work, abstinence only sex education was a failure even to Palin's own daughter, forbidding homosexuals to marry hasn't stopped homosexuality by any means. What is a president going to do to change these things, even if there are people out there who share his belief in these concepts? I think people are starting to get more intelligent or at least realizing that these are not the real issues facing the nation today, our new president has proven at least that.

Powdered creamer tastes like cancer

So the other day I was making myself my morning cup of coffee and I found to my dismay that I was out of my creamer, but I did in fact have a bottle of the powdered stuff. It had been a while since I had tried it and I surmised that maybe I have just never given it a fair shake. All I can say now is that I want to find the person who invented powdered creamer and rape them with their own shoelaces. Seriously, did we need to find another way to ruin coffee, I thought Folger's already had a monopoly on that? It doesn't matter if I put a dash of the stuff or a half a cup of it, it immediately makes the coffee taste like plaster and the shit I have is even flavored. I understand that you may go to a place that does not have refrigeration and may not be able to offer you some of the good stuff, but the alternate should not be a violation to my mouth. I'd rather you have the 18 year old mail boy jerk off in my cup than to have to try to stomach another ounce of this shit.